Am pretty sure that there’s at least one scene in Diner and High Fidelity that has a character doing just that.

I’m a frustrated DJ with a total lifetime tally of 3 on-air shifts, two on WFMU’s Listener Hour (in September 2002 and 2008) and one on WUNH in Durham, NH.  I shared the latter with a friend who was music director of the station, on the weekend following a particular sad breakup. Todd rightly kept me from talking too much about it during that shift, because really, no one wants to hear a twenty-something whine about girl trouble. Especially not on the radio.

So why I didn’t DJ at college?  I had the example of WNYU’s DJs at the time to learn from, and they set the bar incredibly high for what a college radio show could be. Blazed in my memory is “Oi/Noise The Show”, a relentless combination of hardcore punk and over the top screaming by “little Timmy Sommer”; it remains some of the best radio I’ve ever heard–and I didn’t even like the songs he played.

Which was rare, because I liked most of what the station played. Some songs I still cherish–alternate universe one-hit-wonders like The Cosmopolitans’ “How to Keep Your Husband Happy”, Pulsallama’s “The Devil Lives In My Husband’s Body” and Medium Medium’s “Hungry So Angry” along with the new wave of the day–early OMD, New Order, Gang of Four. It was a great station, and I would’ve killed to be on air there.

Footnote: my wife Heather, a young teenager in NJ at the time, listened to WNYU’s “This Is Pop” show and loved it so much that went down to the station a couple times to hang with the DJ, Rich Grula. Who was pals with The Individuals’ (and later Bar None’s) Glenn Morrow, and later a member of Rage to Live with Glenn. Fifteen years later, Glenn introduced Heather and I and on a blind date. So WNYU effectively changed our lives. But I digress.

So yeah, I wanted to be a college radio DJ. I went to Columbia’s orientation in August of ‘81 and immediately looked into joining WKCR, Columbia’s station.

But WKCR were/are jazz snobs. Ever heard a jazz DJ intone the catalog number and players on each track with a solemnity close to davening? It started on KCR. And while I completely appreciate the scholarship that promoted about the music–it’s a part of what turned jazz into art in the eyes of the world–those jazz snobs blocked me from getting on the radio.

So I found ways to play music for people. I DJ’d at a pub in college and was pissed that the dance floor emptied when I spun “And Your Bird Can Sing”. The Barnard girls wanted “Borderline”, and the frat boys wanted  “Play That Funky Music”.  I sunk to playing records at college rollerskating parties. Honestly, it was fun to play songs that people move to, but that don’t have move to,  so while the hook of Chic’s “Good Times” makes it the obvious pick, I vote for Marshall Crenshaw’s “Someday Someway” as perfect skate song.

Another way to force your taste on people: mixtapes. More than one weak movie (and a great book) has been made about segueing one song after another on cassette tapes. I’ve got a batch of these moldering in the card catalogue cabinet filled with tapes that I barely if ever listen to; pulling them out on occasion, the songs I thought were worth including are sometimes shocking. Janet Jackson’s “Rhythm Nation”? What the hell was I thinking?

While Apple (and iTunes) has obviously changed how consumers use music, my interaction with iTunes has become more and more about…making playlists. I’ve made playlists for every party we’ve had in our house: every post-Easter Egg Hunt, bagels-and-matzoh brunch, every Christmas meal. I care WAY more than anyone else ever does, though it’s certainly gratifying when someone notices that, yes, I was actually playing NWA’s version of “Express Yourself”.

The ability to instantly choose songs, change their order, and listen to how they segue into each other has wasted more of my time than I choose to admit. On my daily commute I frequently listen to my iPod on shuffle and make playlists using the “On The Go” function when I come across songs for a playlist I’m going to make some day.

Which, as most things do these days, brings me to…CrossFit. I’m completely, utterly obsessed by this crazy exercise regimen composed of functional movements done at high intensity, focusing on both speed and form. Having never been a jock growing up, I’m working nearly every day to get better at overhead squats, double unders, and other moves that if you don’t do CF, you’d have absolutely no idea what I’m talking about. And that exclusivity of knowledge is absolutely part of the idea. Either you’re a Crossfitter, or you suck.

In fact, I can draw parallels between the elitism I used to feel comparing taste to others, and the elitism of a CF-er thinking they’re better than any other athlete..and, well, just about anybody. CF-ers put their bodies through the most grueling workouts possible, then bragging about the pain they went through (a typical CF t-shirt reads ‘your workout is our warm-up’). Also, the evangelism of bringing folks into the CF cult (…join us…) is similar to what I’ve felt trying to turn friends on to new music I’m loving (…you gotta hear this new Arcade Fire record, it’s the best thing ever…).

They play music at my CF box Guerrilla Fitness during the WODs (workouts of the day). After way too many hours hearing the same Metallica, Tool and AC/DC songs, I forced my iPod into the hands of the coach running the class and had them play my custom-made WOD playlists, thereby becoming eligible to DJ two months ago at a CF Sectional at GFCM recently.

It was awesome. I played anything I could find with a beat, going from one track to the next on by cueing up songs off the same iPod. It wasn’t seamless, but it fired up my DJ jones in a way it hasn’t been for years.  I totally loved turning folks on to the Buzzcocks, and Saul Williams, and the Fleshtones for godsakes.

So, here’s what happens when a music obsessive becomes an exercise obsessive. Behold: WODtunes.

Intergalactic – Beastie Boys

Run – Gnarls Barkley

So Rich So Pretty – Mickey Avalon

No You Girls – Franz Ferdinand

Aint Cha – Clipse

1,000,000 – NIN

Radiapathy – The Velvet Teen

Crawl – Kings of Leon

Motorhead – Hawkwind

Gravity’s Rainbow – Klaxons

Flypaper – Cave In

Master of Puppets – Helisau

Feel Good Hit of the Summer – QOTSA

Party Hard  – Andrew W.K.

Satisfaction – Devo

Sonic Reducer – Dead Boys

Only the Good Die Young – Me First and the Gimme Gimmes

Beat on the Brat – Ramones

Personality Crisis – New York Dolls

When I Died – Thermals

Holidays In the Sun – Sex Pistols

Cretin Hop – Ramones

Strutter(Live) – Kiss

Freedom – Grandmaster Flash

Kick, Push – Lupe Fiasco

D’evils – Jay-Z

It’s Just Begun – Jimmy Castor Bunch

Calling All Destroyers – T.Rex

When You Were Young – The Killers

Chinese Rock – Ramones

Somethin’ Else – Eddie Cochran

Head Down – NIN

Stigmata – Ministry

Forever In Your Hands – All That Remains

Your Touch – Black Keys

Touch Too Much – AC/DC

Searching In The Wilderness – Allen Pound’s Get Rich

Under The God – Tin Machine

For Reasons Unknown – The Killers

Two Weeks – All That Remains

The Rat – The Walkmen

Blitzkreig Bop – Ramones

N.W.O. – Ministry

Back In the Saddle – Aerosmith

What Do You Do For Money Honey – AC/DC

Toys In the Attic – Aerosmith

The ’59 Sound – Gaslight Anthem

Stop – Against Me!

Neighborhood #3 (Power Out) – Arcade Fire

Setting Sun – Chemical Brothers

Kick Out the Jams – MC5

Black Dog (Live) – Led Zeppelin

Search and Destroy – Iggy & the Stooges

Yeah I Love You – Earl Greyhound

Lust for Life – Iggy

Push Push – Bang Camaro

Jailbreak – Thin Lizzy

Playing with Dolls – Slayer

Cherry Bomb – Runaways

Tie Your Mother Down – Queen

C’mon Let’s Go – Girlschool

Half Half & Half – Oxes

Set Me Free – Sweet

Rapid Fire – Judas Priest

List of Demands – Saul Williams

B.O.B – Outkast

Cappucino – The Knux

Stuck In the Metal – Eagles of Death Metal

The ’59 Sound – Gaslight Anthem

Dead! – My Chemical Romance

Stop – Against Me!

See You in Hell – Grim Reaper

Beg to Differ – Prong

Almost Easy – Avenged Sevenfold

Crack The Whip – Cloven Hoof

I Wanna Be Your Man – Endeverafter

Gotta Get Out – Endeverafter

When I Died – Thermals

ALBUMS OF THE YEAR

DIRTY PROJECTORS: Bitte Orca

Name dropper that I am–was at SxSW talking to Rough Trade records legend Geoff Travis, just before Dirty Projectors went on at the French Legation museum garden party. Geoff told me–”You’re about to see the best band in America.” Spending time with Geoff is like talking to a rock star for me (he signed the Smiths! Aztec Camera! Arcade Fire!), so this might as well as have been the word of God. But the DPs just took WAY too long to go onstage, so while I’d like to say that I fell for the band then and there–it’d be a lie. I left before they went on and STILL haven’t seen them play a full set. Dumbass.

I’d heard some of the group’s Rise Above when it came out and was intrigued, but didn’t put the time in–and as much as I like looking for the “angle” on projects we work on, I was prejudiced against liking the album. It felt like a stunt, a band getting noticed just because they’d covered an entire Black Flag album. It took the sinuous “Stillness Is the Move” to completely floor me. It’s my favorite song of the year except for one–but more on that later. (Side note: I’m fascinated by Solange Knowles’ cover. There’s many times when I’d thought that if a song I’d like was done straight, it could be a mainstream hit single. Got my wish this time–and even when produced and sung as a traditional R&B/pop hit–”Stillness” is way too out in its structure to compete with Ne-Yo, The Dream, or Rihanna. But the fact that a semi-mainstream pop act covered “Stillness” at all means that the DPs are getting CLOSE.

I pre-ordered Bitte Orca from Other Music, stood on line alone outside the store for an hour to see the band’s instore there, and revelled in their performance. I can’t remember the last time I did this for an act I wasn’t working with. Even playing acoustic they have an extraordinary groove, lots of head bobbing going on as if we were all at some backpacker hip-hop show and not watching 6 very white people play live. And their vocals are extraordinary, both on record and live. A better writer than I described them in a perfect way–they sound as if they’re being diffracted through a prism.

I’m still falling in love with Bitte Orca months later, discovering the depth of songs from the record as I continue to listen–like “Temecula Sunrise”, which when I heard it on the car radio early one morning reminded me of Yes and made me wonder if I missed something by dismissing prog altogether.

I’ve gotten to the age where referencing gigs I’ve seen make me sound ancient, but this happens when your love of music starts very young and continues throughout your lifetime. I saw Talking Heads in 1983 at the Forest Hills Tennis Stadium right after the release of Speaking In Tongues. Seeing the DPs and listening repeatedly to Bitte Orca gives me the same feeling as being a Talking Heads fan back then. Like the Heads, this is a band that is reinventing pop music, in a way that is so well constructed and precise that they will end up being accessible. Even though Dirty Projectors have made records for a while, I’d put them at More Songs About Building and Food in their development. It remains to be seen without the twin forces of MTV music video play and “modern rock” radio whether this band will have hits as pervasive and influential as “Once In A Lifetime” or “Burning Down The House”, but I’d bet on Dirty Projectors making art that deserves that kind of ubiquity.

PASSION PIT, Manners

Where Girl Talk’s Gregg Gillis takes years of pop music and cuts and pastes it into one endless party, Passion Pit’s Michael Angelakos takes much of the same material and makes something far more affecting. Obsessive in detail, manic in emotion–Manners has no shortage of high points, “Make Light” and “Moth’s Wings” being my fave album tracks…but it’s all about “Sleepyhead” as the gateway drug to this record.

Yeah, “Sleepyhead” was out last year. Whatever, I’m not voting in the Pazz & Jop Poll. It’s still the song of the year, and not just for us overgrown rockcrit type (I mean bloggers). Case in point, it was among the first 15 songs my daughter added the song to her Nano, alongside Taylor Swift, Pink and “Single Ladies’”. Here’s hoping it’ll be on the next season of Glee, as it should be–can’t wait to see Finn and Rachel try and sing it. And on the subject of covers–it already sounds kinda a KIDZ BOP song in it’s original version, no?

As for it’s inclusion in the Palm Pixi commercial; that’s friggin awesome. “Sleepyhead” jumps off the screen, and I’d bet that the searches and downloads for Passion Pit have gone off the chart after the spot started running. As mentioned in DP entry above, it probably does take ad placement (or a pivotal Grey’s Anatomy sync) to reach critical mass.

Can’t wait to see these guys play at Terminal Five in a few weeks–if I did drugs, I’d do them that night. Maybe I’ll do an extra shot of creatine right before the show.

ROMAN CANDLE – Oh Tall Tree In the Ear

This album satisfies my power-pop jones more than any I’ve heard in years; and like almost every great band in this genre has to date gotten heard far less than it should. Like their pointy-headed forebears the dBs (and their Canadian equals The Weakerthans) they are probably too damn smart for their own good.

Folks that have heard this record have gravitated to “Why Modern Rock Radio is A-OK”, but the song’s a bit too literal for my taste. Instead, start with “Eden Was A Garden” which is lyrically dense, and hooky as hell–and seek out the demo/acoustic version, which I’ve segued on playlists into “Tumbling Dice” because of its slow, shambolic ramble.

The level of songwriting craft on Oh Tall Tree In the Ear is comparable to Fountains of Wayne’s Utopia Parkway or Welcome Interstate Managers–and that’s high praise considering that a song on one of those records references someone very close to me and his wife (you can figure it out).

RIYL: Jayhawks, Blitzen Trapper, Old 97′s, Wilco.

ANIMAL COLLECTIVE – Merriweather Post Pavillion

Jim DeRogatis said on the year-end Sound Opinions wrap-up that MPP is the record Brian Wilson would make if he was making Pet Sounds today. I can’t say more to recommend it than that I wish I had the pair of KOSS headphones that I used to listen to records on back in high-school, because my iPod headphones just don’t cut it for the density. Also–Taken By Trees version of “My Girls” is genius.

RECORD I’M LIKING DESPITE THE HYPE: Girls – Album

LATE ON, BUT LOVING: Gaslight Anthem, Alberta Cross, Neon Indian

GUILTY NOT-PLEASURE: Wilco: The Album. Sky Blue Sky was my album of the year, but so far this hasn’t opened itself up to me. I’m gonna keep trying cuz I love these guys.

TRACKS OF THE YEAR

“Percussion Gun” – White Rabbits

First watch this Letterman performance : only Lady Gaga on SNL matched them for best performance on TV this year.

There’s something so smartly aggressive about this song..and this band. Britt Daniel’s production allowed the band to out-Spoon Spoon–hooky as hell, but without the arch aftertaste. The twin drums up front remind me of Adam and the Ants or Bow Wow Wow, and I’m moved every time I hear lead singer Steven Patterson urgently yelping out the lyrics to this song. It does piss me off that the 30H!3 get to have hit singles when songs like this don’t reach a 100th of the audience.

“Two Weeks” – Grizzly Bear

I just don’t listen to Veckatimest. Grizzly Bear intrigue the hell out of me, but the echoey piano figure on “Two Weeks” and harmony vocals are pop enough to make me come back for more. This mash-up with Lil Wayne’s “Prom Queen” is great, but what’s better is that it’s credited to the album Veckaflyest.

” Zero”/”Heads Will Roll” – Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Not much emotional resonance for me for the Y3s on this record (nowhere near as much as on their “Maps”), but these are great pop singles, as good as Dale Bozzio or Terri Nunn ever turned out, and that is by no means a slam.

Lady Gaga – “Paparazzi” -

The single that won me over. My wife didn’t like that our 9 year old was singing along to “Just Dance” on Z100, thought the lyric was almost as bad as Britney’s “3″, which we switch off every time. But jeez, I’ve never seen such a campaign for ubiquity since Madonna, and this is just the beginning–Miss Germanotta is so smart that she won’t make her Shanghai Surprise, although I am awaiting her Desperately Seeking Susan move–which given the times will be a You Tube clip.

Vampire Weekend – “Horchata”

They make me smile, and it’s only partially because I share an alma mater with them. They write great hooks, they’re funny, they have a lyrical point of view and a sound, which they’ve expanded on this track. Can’t wait for the album, and I’m betting the bloggerati are just waiting to slam ‘em. Fuck ‘em, these guys are better than 99% of the bands that are raved about daily.

Other tracks I loved: Kelly Clarkson “I do not hook up”, Art Brut “Mysterious Bruises”, Matt and Kim “Daylight” , La Roux “Bulletproof”, Annie “I Don’t Like Your Band”, The Big Pink “Dominos”
Thao “Cool Yourself”, Mayer Hawthorne “Just Ain’t Gonna Work Out”/”Maybe So Maybe No”, Jay Z/Alicia Keys “Empire State of Mind’ (I’m from the Bronx, dammit). Tinted Windows “Kind of a Girl”, Florence and the Machine “Kiss With A Fist”, James Yuill “No Surprise”, Two Hours Traffic “Noisemaker”

BEST PAIRING OF MUSIC TO AN IMAGE:

YOU try watching the trailer for Where the Wild Things Are scored with The Arcade Fire’s “Wake Up” without tearing up. I can’t.

-MK

Sleepyhead – Passion Pit
Okie Dokey – Dan Deacon
Dying Is Fine – Ra Ra Riot
If It Feels Good Do It – Sloan
I Zimbra – Talking Heads
Percussion Gun – White Rabbits
Chasing Pavements – Adele
The Girl Can’t Help It – Little Richard
Oh No – Andrew Bird
My Girls – Animal Collective
Yeah I Love You – Earl Greyhound
Beggin’ – Timebox
Right Back Where I Started From – Army Navy
Ghost Hardware – Burial
Close to You – Frank Sinatra
Jump Into The Fire – Harry Nillson
Aloha Steve & Danno – Radio Birdman
Fit But You Know It – The Streets
I’m Waiting For The Man – The Velvet Underground
Stop – Against Me!
Music To Watch Girls By – Andy Williams
Summertime Clothes – Animal Collective
Daily Routine – Animal Collective
Spade – The BPA (feat Martha Wainwright)

Ok. Ready. Set. Start snarky comments…NOW
- MK